Growing Down

At 26, I’m on a serious journey to “grow down” I have spent most of my life filling a mold- whether created by others or myself…it was restrictive. I credit a ton of things for solidifying this “mold” that I so desperately attempted to fill on a daily. Religion is perhaps the first culprit: not my spiritual relationship with God- but the institution of should and shouldn’ts made me afraid to explore the depths of my existence for fear of breaking a cardinal rule. This leads me to the next culprit: other people’s opinions…let me say that again OTHER PEOPLE’s OPINIONS omg this was a serious stronghold for me-caring about what people thought of me robbed me of life literally…I think about all of the opportunities I didn’t take because I was worried about how it would make me look to my parents and all the other “millions” of people who look to me, up to me or at me sheesh…that was exhausting- I just took a huge breath lol stress was building up just thinking about it! In addition to these things were fear of my own success and anxiety surrounding my need to be perfect. Lately I’ve been reading a lot of articles about being 20something and the importance of not pressuring yourself to produce goal induced widgets but to simply live and take it in…do what makes you happy. So that is what I aim to do: what makes me happy- no fear, worries or stress…I’m just gonna do what I do and see what I see. My hypothesis is that this will increase my level of personal accomplishment and overall happiness- ultimately motivating me to produce twice the amount of widgets than I ever would have under the old operating system. So what is “growing down” ? It is simply taking in life and all that is good, which inevitably causes growth with the addition of exploration unhindered by fear and just plain ol slowing down to watch the sun rise and smell the roses. Don’t be so quick to rush the day with all of these imaginary molds that we create for ourselves…instead be intentional about expressing gratitude and ingesting the miraculous things in this life we are so blessed to live.