The Patient Life

So I found this list on pintrest. I liked it, so I printed it out and taped it up in my cube at work for those days when 5:oo seems like forever away. Although I haven't tried all the things on the list yet- it did get me thinking about the fact that maintaining inspiration and focus can be a full time job. think about all of the things that consume our lives daily: family, friendships, relationships...or the lack thereof, work, people at work, our ambitions...I could go on.With all of these things working to detract or focus and deplete our source of inspiration and since of accomplishment; how do we stay grounded? I want to be a champion in more ways than one and sometimes that strong desire is overwhelming...so much so that I become immobile- stricken with fear and stress about the "what ifs" and no matter how much I self calculate my success odds- the desire to be successful somehow always outweighs the means and resources I currently possess. On those days I feel like a tadpole, growth stunted and forever in the pond- while others have already progressed enough to leap on lilly pads. Sound familiar? we constantly measure our progress against that of our peers...I believe its human nature. I was so tired of feeling like I wasn't enough...or running to catch up with where I thought I was supposed to be by now that I simply stopped. Believe me it wasn't easy...how could something so simple be so hard- to just stop running, stop trying to be whatever it is we tell ourselves we must be and just live and exist in wholeness is perhaps the hardest thing I have learned to do to date. What did "stopping" consist of for me? Extended moments of silence...yes silence; no talking to anyone- instead learning to value my own voice by listening to my thoughts and giving them the respect I had long withheld by giving that respect to other peoples voices instead of my own. Aloneness began the process of extracting value from things where value had been misplaced and depositing that value in places it had never been. <--This felt AMAZING, honestly I don't know how I lived before...I don't think I was living..just existing. There is a huge difference. I see life in things that I once took for granted. My body looks better to me because I recognize it as my own masterpiece- that small ounce of respect changed the way I took care of it, dressed it and even expressed gratitude to it- it also changed the way I allow people to treat it. There is also the component of forgiveness...recognizing that we don't do things right all the time- and that's okay...its very okay. What is most important is that we learn from all of our experiences- good and bad- without guilt but with love. Love allows us to see things differently, with more patient eyes...so for now I'm learning to be patient with myself in support of living life at its fullest capacity.